


a little of your love

by queerofcups



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-30
Updated: 2017-08-16
Packaged: 2018-12-08 21:50:51
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 4,903
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11655420
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/queerofcups/pseuds/queerofcups
Summary: 5 mildly surprising things Phil is into





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Have this completely self indulgent bit of fluff, won't you?

They don’t get dads often. At this point, Dan’s met enough of their viewers—given enough hugs, taken enough pictures, signed enough fanart—that he feels like he can say this with some certainty. 

If there’s a viewer young enough to need parents to come with them, the parent is _probably_ going to be a mom.

And the dads they do get tend to be longsuffering, and a little suspicious of him and Phil. Which is fair, he supposes. If his teenaged kid spent hours, and quite a lot of money, on two pale British dudes with questionable hair, he might be suspicious too. 

So he’s learned to share a conspiratorial little smile with the dads, to put them at ease, and makes sure his hips are just that much further away in the midst of enthusiastic hugs. 

They’re both always hyper-aware of the growing age gap between them and their viewers. But Dan’s never as aware as when there’s a hawk-eyed dad, watching for the slightest suggestion of impropriety. It’s probably sexist, if he’s honest. He knows from experience that there are some moms that could beat him up if they even thought he was considering getting fresh with their kid. Which, gross. 

All of this is to say. Dan knows dads. And Phil knows dads. And Dan knows exactly what’s going to happen when the near end of this meet&greet line gets here and Phil has to encounter the silver fox of a dad that’s looking down at his kid, chatting about something. 

Dan’s anxiety makes him hyperaware during meet&greets. He knows exactly what’s going on in front of him, as far down the line as he can see, and at the m&g stations next to him, nearly at all times. It’s the only way he can keep to his script, keep from thinking about all these people wanting a piece of him, wanting friendship he can’t give them. 

Phil’s the opposite. He zeroes in on every person, does his best to give them a genuine interaction, even if he’s sticking with his own script. It’s fine. It means Dan gets to watch him flush petal pink and watch his gaze skitter across the viewer to their dad, back and forth, until he remembers that there’s a script he’s supposed to be sticking to.

“Hi!” Dan says, saving Phil from having to make banter. It snaps him to, and they both hug and chat with the viewer—who offers them a piece of fanart to sign and a blessedly low-pressure pose to snap pictures of. It takes the customary minute and a few seconds, and then the kids walking away, happy.

“Did you want one?” Phil asks and Dan just barely manages to turn his laugh into a cough. The dad’s so totally Phil’s type. He’s nearly as tall as them, muscular (“but not that weird, I spend all my life in the gym and have no friends and cry myself to sleep muscular”, Phil had told him once when Dan was explaining why Phil wasn’t allowed to go to the gym alone, lest he be carried away, literally, by some guy who could crush Dan with a single squat) and he’s got his (prematurely?) gray hair swept up into a bun. Phil’s always been a sucker for trendy dads.

“Yeah!” Dan says, letting a real smile spread across his face for the first time in three hours. “We love Dads!”

Out of the corner of his eye, he can see Phil giving him a mildly alarmed look. Dan ignores him. Some of the viewers, including the one they’d just taken a picture with, cheer the Dad on.

The Dad goes easily enough, slotting himself between them and smiling for his kid to take the picture. Dan can admit that he smells really nice. He’s never going to let Phil live this down.

It’s over just as quickly as all the other pictures and both of them tell the dad goodbye.

Because Dan’s a professional, he makes it through the rest of the meet&greet, and all the way back to one of the creators lounges before he turns to Phil with a grin and says, quietly, “Daddy.”

“Shut up!” Phil says, grabbing a pillow to cover himself with.

Dan’s laugh shakes both of them, louder than Phil, who’s promising to never speak to Dan again, to find a new best friend. He laughs long and loud enough that the few people that were hanging out near the entrance leave, sending him annoyed glances. Whatever, he’s earned this laugh, the pressure-release of anxiety that he always, always gets from meet&greets.

When he’s quieted down to the occasionally close-mouthed chuckle, Phil leans against his shoulder and lets the couch cushion drop into his lap.

“He was really hot,” Phil tells him, as if Dan doesn’t have eyes.

“He was,” Dan agrees, pulling out his phone. Someone had texted him about getting dinner that night. But half of vidcon is getting ‘we should get together!’ texts and Dan isn’t sure if he has it in him tonight.

Nearly ten years together has taught him to sense when Phil is pausing, preparing to say or do something Dan should be paying attention to.

“I’d call _him_ Daddy,” Phil says, under his breath but loud enough that Dan knows he’s meant to hear. It sets Dan off again, which sets Phil off, and then they’re leaning against each other, laughing. It feels good, like resetting, like resettling into their real selves after hours of giving viewers what they want.

(“Ok,” Dan says many hours later when the day and lingering exhaustion from an international flight has hit him and he actually can’t hold his eyes open any more, “but please don’t call me daddy when we’re having sex.”

“Obviously,” Phil scoffs. “I’m older.”

Dan’s too sleepy to follow that thought to its logical conclusion.)


	2. Chapter 2

People come to the conclusion that because they’ve been together for so long, neither he, nor Phil, are ever attracted to other people. 

It’s neither exactly true or exactly wrong for Dan. He sees people and can categorize them into attractive or not. But he hasn’t felt the heat seeker attentiveness he felt for Phil when they first started talking (still feels for Phil sometimes when he’s been gone too many days) since well, Phil. 

Phil, though. Phil’s heart has got a sort of indiscriminate sluttiness that Dan admires. Years ago, it was an issue. Phil would never do anything to hurt him. Dan knew that now, and he knew it then. But years and years together soothes the tiny, jealous part of him that burns when Phil smiles at someone else and the much larger, insecure part of him that remembers that Phil could always do better than him. 

So before, he might have flipped shit and had a bit of a cry in the shower when he sees Phil give the barista at their local Starbucks That Look. He probably would have gotten pissed and taken it out on Phil when he smiles at their regular pizza guy and majorly over tips. He definitely would have found himself in a tailspin of despair when he’d caught Phil watching PJ’s newest video with the kind of faraway, dreamy look that means he’s forgotten about the video and is imagining holding hands and cuddling or making surrealistic short films, or whatever gay shit happens in Phil’s PJ fantasies.

“Should I book another trip to Italy, then?” he asks, plopping down onto the couch beside Phil. 

“Hm?” Phil asks, turning his head to Dan very slowly. 

“You haven’t given Peej The Look in years. Should I book another trip to Italy?”

Phil just gives him a smile and shakes his head and Dan’s glad he can have this, instead of guilt and apologies for having a pulse. As if he could deny Phil the pleasure of PJ’s face. 

“He’s still tragically straight,” Phil reminds him, pausing the video. 

“Didn’t stop you from crushing on Joe. Or Alfie. Caspar. Your personal trainer. That one flight attendant. And so’s spaghetti...” Dan trails off, grinning at Phil, who rolls his eyes. 

“We still don’t know if the flight attendant was straight. We were on that plane for 12 hours, we could have had a real love story,” Phil tells him, getting off the couch and heading toward the kitchen. “And that spaghetti line is awful.”

“It worked in Italy!” Dan calls after him, “Got me a blowjob! Got you one, too!”

“Blowjobs from straight boys don’t count,” Phil yells back.


	3. Chapter 3

Dan leans over the back of the couch, resting his chin on Phil’s shoulder and gets a glimpse of a familiar maroon and white webpage before Phil slams his laptop closed.

 “You know,” Dan says slowly, standing up straight and coming around to sit on the couch with Phil, “it’d be a lot less suspicious if you didn’t do that.”

“No idea what you’re talking about,” Phil says, staring straight ahead. His ears have gone pink.

“Are you reading fanfiction about us again?” Dan asks, pulling his legs up to cross and grabbing his own computer from the arm the far arm of the couch. “Because we agreed you’d send me links to the good ones.”

“...I sent you some links.” Phil says, fingering the curling edge of one of the older stickers on his laptop. “They’re in messenger.”

“Nice,” Dan murmurs, opening messenger and glancing through the handful of links Phil has indeed sent him. He’ll read them later when Phil’s gone to bed and he’s bored. “What are you being weird about then.”

“...,” Phil doesn’t answer. He starts to turn, angling so that the back of his computer is facing Dan.

Dan looks at him with a raised eyebrow. “Phil.”

“No!” Phil says, pulling the laptop to his chest. “You’ll judge me!”

“Phil!” Dan says, grinning and putting his own computer aside to reach for Phil. “What is it? Are you buying something expensive? You know I love it when you spend money.”

“You’re weird, that’s a weird kink!” Phil says, scooting away and putting a socked foot and a long leg between him and Dan’s reaching arms. “You can’t reverse fin-dom me!”

Dan pauses in his reaching to consider Phil, “Phil! You were listening to me the other day?”

Phil stops to consider. “Partly. I zoned out when you started talking about the feminist implications of sugaring. And whether or not I’m old enough to be your sugar daddy. I told you to stop calling me that.”

“Stop trying to change the subject,” Dan says, lunging for Phil. Phil squawks and awkwardly rolls off the couch.

“Phil! That computer was expensive!” Dan scolds, but follows him onto the floor.

Phil’s got the scrappiness of a little brother that’s done more than a little wrestling in his life, but Dan’s got a few pounds on him and no computer to protect.

 Phil can squawk all he wants, Dan still ends up sitting on him, resting the laptop on his chest.

“I won,” Dan tells him, smacking Phil hands away. Phil huffs but puts his hands down, respecting the unspoken rules of wrestling.

Dan opens the laptop. So Phil _was_ reading fanfiction. That doesn’t explain what he’s being so squirrelly about. Dan makes fairly regular trips into fanfiction-land, even if he’s less likely to read fic about _them_. Dan scrolls up and _oh_.

“Breeding,” Dan reads. “Group sex, knotting, I didn’t even know they _had_ a sloppy seconds tag.”

“Dan!” Phil whines, covering his face.

“Phiiiil,” Dan whines back at him, continuing to scroll. “Ooh, come-swapping. Do I know enough about Teen Wolf to read this? It probably doesn’t matter.”

“I’m not having this conversation right now,” Phil says, sounding a little breathless. “I’m an adult man. Let me shame read dirty stories in peace.”

Dan shifts his weight back so Phil can take deeper breaths.

“You’re a prude,” Dan mumbles, sending himself the link to the Teen Wolf fic. “A dirty, dirty prude that’s been hoarding all the really dirty stuff for himself. Honestly, sending me twenty thousand words of candles and rose petals and shit. I’m telling everyone. What is omorashi?”

Phil closes the laptop, just barely avoiding Dan’s fingers.

“I don’t negotiate with terrorists,” Phil tells him.

Dan shrugs and climbs off him, returning to the couch. “I’m tweeting about it. At Amazing Phil’s got a taste for some alpha/omega fic, who’s got recs?”

Dan yells as Phil catches him around the knees and he flails down to the couch, then the floor, laughing as Phil crawls up his body to keep him away from tweeting Phil’s secret shame.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i feel like i've just told you all too much about my own reading habits.


	4. Chapter 4

After the miserable trip to the gym with Kyle/Leon, Dan’s wary about Phil going back to the gym. He knows that he can’t _stop_ Phil, Phil’s his own person, an adult and it’d be creepy of Dan to try. But he can wheedle and whine and distract Phil away from going to the gym with sex, or food, or video games, or some combination of all three.

The problem is that Phil’s a smart cookie and one day, months after the gym incident he turns to Dan, who’s suggested they keep playing Crash Bandicoot to see if they can beat their previous time on the last stage and says, “I’m onto you.”

Dan, who can think of at least three secret broken things he’s hidden from Phil at any given time, blinks at him and goes, “I have no idea what you’re talking about. The door did that when we moved in.”

Phil frowns and glances over at the door that leads to their kitchen. “Not that. Though what? Dan we’ve been here two months, how have you already--,”

“What are you onto me about?” Dan asks, cutting Phil off before he can get properly annoyed. 

“Every time I try to go to the gym you suddenly can’t get enough of me,” Phil points out. “Either you don’t want me going back or you’ve gotten a fetish for trackies. Do you have a fetish for trackies, Dan?” 

Dan frowns. “I didn’t...consider that. I don’t think so?”

Dan looks down at his hands.

Does he have a trackies fetish that he’s converted into a fetish for Phil wearing trackies? Has the sexual part of his distraction plan actually been for him all along? Is his trackies fetish an extension of the rejection he feels from hegemonic cisgender heterosexual masculinity? Does he desire what he, himself, can never be? What other sort of psychosexual quirks could he trace back to his school days and his inability to fit in with other boys? Was the choice of a partner that was attracted to more muscular men some sort of self-flagellating masochism?

“Dan,” Phil says sharply, yanking him out of his thoughts. “Stop it. You agreed not to have any introspective crises while we’re talking.”

“In my defense,” Dan says, crossing his arms, “I can’t actually _stop_ those.”

“Come to the gym with me,” Phil says, ignoring Dan’s point. “I know you’re freaked out by what happened the other day—“

“Phil, you could have _died_ ,” Dan says. Arguably, he’s being a bit dramatic, but he was genuinely worried when Phil came back from the gym looking like death warmed over.

“Not really,” Phil says, patting his arm. “But I want to show you! I’m still technically a member there and they let you bring a guest once a month. We could try a different trainer!”

“...fine,” Dan says.

Honestly, he’d rather not go, but he knows he’ll be more comfortable with Phil going to the gym, knowing that he’s not going to die if Dan’s gotten to hand choose the trainer.

The next day, they walk into a slick looking gym that seems to be more chrome and glass than actual work out machines and get greeted by a frighteningly perky man with frighteningly well sculpted pecs. His eyes are almost as blue as Phil’s and his teeth are unsettlingly straight, like he’s American or something.

“You came back!” he says, waving at Phil.

“You remember me?” Phil asks, pressing a hand to his neck. Dan narrows his eyes. He’s not the jealous type, truly. But the combination of Phil’s blush, his predilection towards muscle-bound men, and Dan’s already developed animosity towards this gym has Dan considering if he’s strong enough to physically carry Phil back out the door.

“Of course,” the guy says, and looks back at the computer. “And Andreja is ready for you! I’ll go get her.”

Pecs Guy disappears and Phil turns to Dan with his Dan-don’t-freak-out smile in place.

“So I reserved time with a trainer? And I figured you’d be more comfortable with a woman so you don’t spend twenty minutes baiting a guy by talking about the homoeroticism of weight lifting.”

“Sexist,” Dan says. “And I don’t _bait_ people, thanks, Phil. I’m just saying that there aren’t a lot of situations where men sweating and grunting with each other is socially acceptable and gyms and porn studios have that in common. And that was _years_ ago!”

Phil starts to respond, but Pecs Guy is back with a woman Dan guesses is Andreja.

The first thing Dan notices is that Andreja is incredibly fit. In all senses of the word. She’s wearing a lot of stretchy material, so Dan knows she’s got muscles in places he hadn’t realized you could built muscle. She’s not a ton shorter than them, and her smiles pretty stunning. She’s also got thighs like tree trunks. Dan’s seen enough videos of a woman crushing a watermelon between her thighs to recognize that Andreja’s got watermelon-crushing thighs.

The other thing Dan notices is that Phil’s gone pink all over and when Andreja asks him his name. He stutters a little and manages to knock over Pecs Guy’s little cup of pens.

Here’s the thing about Phil.

Back when they did things like take online quizzes, Phil fell solidly in the mostly-gay section of every Kinsey scale quiz they took, while Dan fell into the exact middle every single time. Dan remembers Phil teasing him about being indecisive in all things, and Dan probably said something offensive back about not needing a beard.

So, Dan knows to really relish the rare treat of Phil getting all flustered over a woman. And he knows that more often than not, the women Phil gets flustered over are women that look like they crush watermelons, and Phils, with their thighs.

Last Christmas, Dan had stumbled across a documentary following some crossfit championship and had spent most of the movie cackling at the way Phil kept starting sentences and then failing to finish them every time some Swedish musclewoman came on screen.

It’s sort of fascinating really. With guys, Phil’s surprisingly smooth, all touchy and suggestive. With everyone else, he turns into even more of a wrecking ball than usual. Dan stops a pen from rolling away from Pecs Guy’s desk.

“Hi Andreja,” Dan says, reaching out to shake her hand. “I’m Dan. His boyfriend.”

Phil doesn’t react. He’s too busy picking up pens and stealing glances at Andreja.

“It’s nice to meet both of you,” she says with the slightest Australian accent. Dan just barely manages to keep his giggles to himself.

As they follow her to some open area to do some stretches, Dan whispers to Phil, “Did you _seriously_ hire your dream woman as a personal trainer? Phil, she’s even _Australian_.”

“She’s so hot,” Phil whispers back, sounding anguished. “Kyle was really good looking but she’s just...do you think she could pick me up? Dan, don’t let me be creepy. I never like girls, how do you not be creepy with them?”

“Well, she thinks you’re gay now,” Dan says under his breath. “You’re welcome.”

“Ok guys,” Andreja says, turning to them with a bright smile. “We’re going to do some...”

Dan more or less zones out once she starts explaining what they’re going to be doing. Something something isometric motion something something lactic acid, stretching so you don’t cramp whatever.

He glances over at Phil, who’s nodding along, hanging on to her every word. His eyes are wide and he looks like he might need to tackle something soon to get rid of all the extra love or whatever.

Dan shakes his head and looks back at Andreja, who’s stepped out into a lunge to show them what they’re supposed to do. Dan does it and doesn’t look too hard at the way her thigh flexes. She doesn’t need two noodley dudes staring at her.

Andreja leads them through a session that’s appropriately sweaty, but Dan doesn’t feel like he’s about to die even once. It goes mostly smoothly, except that every time she touches Phil to correct his form he goes bright pink, and his voice cracks twice. Dan’s mildly annoyed at being left with the responsibility of being the normal one.

“3-2-1,” Andreja counts and then lets them stand up out of their final stretch. “That was great, boys. Excellent first day.”

She dismisses them with a wave, a smile, and a promise to see Phil in two days for his next session. Phil keeps waving even after she’s turned and walked away. Dan pulls Phil’s arm down and grabs his water bottle. He’s certain he’s gone bright pink with exertion and there’s no way his hair isn’t a rat's nest.

“She was alright,” Dan says in between long swallows, “Are you going to come back?”

“Girls are amazing. I’m going to propose,” Phil says very seriously. Dan chokes on the water he’d been guzzling.

“I’m sorry,” Phil says, turning to pat Dan on the back, as if he isn’t the cause of Dan’s coughing. “You’ve been great. I really thought we were going to go all the way.”

“We all deserve to be fulfilled in life, and I can’t crush watermelons with my thighs,” Dan agrees, clearing his throat. “Do you think the fans will notice?”

“We’ll get her a curly wig,” Phil says, making grabby hands until Dan hands him the water bottle. “The Americans already can’t tell the difference between Australian and British accents.”

“Can I replace you with PJ?” Dan asks, starting to walk in the direction of the exit. “Since we’re upgrading.”

“Bye guys!” Pecs Guy calls after them.

Dan turns to wave. “Do you think Pecs Guy would want to be in a video? I’ve been thinking about the warning signs that you’re falling in love with an android, what with the future being now and the robot uprising being upon us.”

“Andreja could protect me,” Phil tells him dreamily. “She could crush a robot with a single flex.”

Dan looks at him.“...You do know I’m not going to get buff for the sake of roleplaying, right? Becky and Jessica are proud of their bodies as they are.”

Phil sighs. “This is why I’m replacing you. No commitment.”

Dan barks a laugh and they walk down the street, Phil talking about how great girls, and also muscles, are and Dan nodding along.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> an ode to all my attempts at being a gym bunny. i could have watermelon crushing thighs, y'all.
> 
> p.s. that documentary absolutely exists. its called fittest on earth. its on netflix and features many many watermlon crushing thighs.


	5. Chapter 5

“Let me know if you guys need anything!” the waiter says, filling Phil’s glass with more water then walking away. 

Dan’s picking at the last bits of his salad, weighing if he wants dessert or not when Phil says, “This is the same pattern as the breakfast bar.” 

Dan glances up at him. Phil’s tapping the marble of their table. Dan hadn’t wanted to go somewhere so fancy but apparently they had a new cocktail that Phil was obsessed with and Dan was hard pressed to tell Phil no on things anyway. 

So now he’s here, considering dessert, watching Phil tap a marble tabletop and he can just about see the words form in Phil’s head before he says them.

“D’you miss the breakfast bar?” Phil asks, looking at Dan, watching his face go pink. 

Dan glances around. Its approaching closing time for the restaurant, and the tables nearest to them are mostly empty.

“We don’t need to talk about this,” Dan tells him. He probably looks ridiculous, glancing around wildly at the mention of a breakfast bar. 

“It was just the right height,” Phil says, continuing on at a conversational volume. “Could pop you right up on it and blow you. Or lean you over and get a finger or two in you.” 

Dan covers his face. “What did I forget to do today?” 

Dan had discovered that Phil didn’t have a normal sense of propriety shortly after meeting for the first time. They’d ambush each other with guerrilla games of truth or dare and gay chicken and Phil never ever backed down, driven by a rabid competitiveness that overrode any social anxiety or dignity that might have stopped him otherwise.

It hadn’t taken long for Dan to stop daring Phil to yell penis on quiet streets, or placing a hand on Phil’s inseam on the train when he realized that Phil was pretty unflappable. This was around the same time that Phil realized Dan was very, _very_ easily embarrassed by these sorts of things. 

Dan’s not sure if Phil’s got some sort of reverse humiliation kink, or an exhibition kink or a punishing-your-boyfriend-for-breaking-kitchen-tiles-via-public-embarrassment kink. All he knows is sometimes Phil looks at him and gets this smile and this grin and just lets filth flow from his mouth until Dan’s bright red and half hard and apologizing for whatever offense he’d made. 

“We should get a bar in the new place,” Phil says, ignoring him. Dan’s eyes drop down to Phil’s hand, where he’s still stroking his fingers across the marble. “Remember that one time we tried to see how many times you could come in a day? The fourth time? You barely had anything left and I still cleaned up after you.” 

The semi-infamous fourth time stands out as the one and only time Dan’s come just from being fucked. He’s still a little foggy on the details, he mostly remembers the coolness of the breakfast bar against his skin once he’d flopped down onto it and the feeling of Phil, in him and around him, warm and ebullient. 

“Was it my turn to edit?” Dan asks helplessly.

He figures it’ll be another ten minutes before the waiter comes back with their check. Phil could regale so many of their sexual exploits by now. Dan glances at the older couple that’s probably within hearing distance. They haven’t shot any disapproving looks at him and Phil yet, but Phil’s got more than enough ammo, even he’s just caught up on the breakfast bar thing. 

“D’you think you could go four times again? Maybe more?”

Phil sips his drink and watches Dan expectantly, obviously waiting for an answer. 

“I,” Dan starts and stops making a distressed noise. “Yes? No? We’re not talking about this.” 

Phil laughs at him. “Do you want me to stop?”

And this is why Dan hates that he loves this game. Because he’s bright red, and he’s probably going to stutter when the waiter comes back, but he _loves_ it when Phil’s like this, confident and teasing and a little wicked. He gets away with it because no one ever expects it from him. He can just widen his eyes and give a guileless smile and it’s like a halo and angel wings appear from nowhere. 

“ _Phil_ ,” he whines instead of answering.

Phil watches him, mouth curled up into a little smile. Through the mix of thrill, embarrassment and arousal, Dan feels deep, warm affection for Phil and that smile. It’s amazing to know that he gets that smile all the time, that all Phil needs is Dan whining at him to be completely delighted.

“Here you are,” the waiter says, coming from behind Dan to place their bill on the table.

Phil takes it with a smile and the waiter disappears from Dan’s sight.

“We could start tomorrow,” Phil says and Dan fights the urge to whip around and make sure the waiter is gone. “We could start with a handjob, maybe. Or fingers? You love that. Get you spread open and wet for me. Do you think you’d cry by the fifth one?”

Dan is pretty fucking positive he isn’t physically capable of having five orgasms in a day, but he’s willing to try if it means Phil keeps making these casually filthy suggestions.

“You left all the lights on in the apartment again,” Phil tells him as he signs the bill and stands up. He smiles and gives a jaunty, slightly awkward wave to the older couple that have glanced over at them. “After I asked you a million times not to. You know we got that new lube that doesn’t taste awful. After I finger you, I could eat—“

“Yep!” Dan says, standing up and grabbing Phil’s arm to usher him away from the older couple, out of this restaurant and somewhere where people can’t _hear him_ , dear God.

He’s happy to talk about breakfast bars, or sex marathons, or any other dirty thing Phil suggests, but there’s no way he can do listen while sitting next to an old woman that would probably have a heart attack if she eavesdropped on even a second of what Phil’s pattering on about. 

Phil follows easily, laughing his silly little hee-hee giggle and letting Dan pull him out of the restaurant.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> guess who's back, back again, dann is back, and they've forgotten how to write fic

**Author's Note:**

> come say hi at queerofcups.tumblr.com


End file.
